When my mom asked me to craft something for her blog, I spent days and days racking my brain about what to write. I mean, the entire premise around this blog is celebrating women and recognizing their skills and talents. Things like lunch hacks, organizing tricks, etc – things I’m far from an expert on. So as I was thinking, I began to consider the things I am more skilled in.
My life and occupation has put me in close and consistent proximity to a particular group of people. You see, year after year I cross paths with young adults going through some of the most formative times in life, many of whom are fresh out of the influence of their own domestic chicks. What’s been one of the most interesting things throughout this opportunity is to walk alongside them as they figure out who they are and who they want to become, apart from those who have raised them.
As some of these young adults have invited me on their journey, I’ve learned a few things, some of which I think may be helpful for any of you domestic chicks whose little chicklings have recently flown the coop.
- Be patient.
Daily phone calls/texts. Constant check ins. One of the most common things I’ve heard from these young adults is that they wish they could just catch a quick break from their parents. They want them involved in their lives and the latest happenings – but they don’t want to be smothered. Between juggling new class schedules, friends, jobs, and extracurriculars – many of them are experiencing a new level of busyness they’ve never felt before. So when they don’t immediately respond to your texts or request for your fifth update of the day, just know it’s not always because they’re ignoring you.
But trust me, when the time comes and they need you, they know who to call.
- Be present.
And here’s the kicker – when they call – it’s because they actually need you. They’ve tried everything they know, everything you’ve taught them, and they need some of your domestic wisdom and guidance. This new world they’re experiencing can be hard. It presents them with challenges they feel ill-equipped to handle, feelings that for many have increased ten-fold in the midst of the current global pandemic.
I’m not saying when they call you should be waiting by the phone, that’s hypocritical. But when the time comes and they do come a-calling, it’s your time to shine and throw every ounce of domestic love and knowledge you’ve got at them.
- Be positive.
But when that domestic love and knowledge take center stage again, it is crucial to communicate a sense of positivity. We all understand now more than ever that the world isn’t all sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns. But considering that everywhere we turn we’re slapped in the face with negativity, when your young adult comes to you for love and wisdom, the last thing they’re looking for is a reminder of all the things they’re not doing well enough. A majority of them know the importance of good grades and working hard. What they don’t know is if they have enough brains, talents, and skills to handle the situation in front of them. Remind them who they are and whose they are.
- Be praying.
This last one won’t hit as hard if you’re not a religious person. But if you are, it should make all the difference. There’s a cheesy saying that has made its way around about how prayer should be our first response, not our last resort. I say it’s cheesy, but most of the cheesy sayings exist because they’re a golden nugget, packed full of truth. You see, the apostle Paul, in his letter to the church at Ephesus writes about the necessity of the armor of God, saying “For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”
Ultimately, this life we’re all living isn’t about obtaining physical accolades and satisfaction. It’s not about having the most friends, getting the best grades, or obtaining the best job. The circumstances your young adult will encounter are full of spiritual battles that will impact who they become in the future. Truthfully, I can think of no better way to fight a spiritual battle than on a spiritual level.
I am lucky to say that I am who I am today in large part because of the prayers of the domestic chicks in my life. Most of the time they didn’t know the exact situations I was facing, the friends I was fighting with, the struggles at work. But what they did know was that whatever situation I was facing, it had deeper implications than I realized.
Most of the time, I didn’t know what they were praying for or that their prayers would have such an impact. Sometimes, I wished for something more practical. But what I didn’t understand then that I understand now is that the things that they were doing for me were ultimately for my good. But then again, isn’t that what parenting is all about?